DS5 is an early riser. In fact, truly he just doesn't sleep well and so he is up early sometimes because he has barely slept but what that means for me is that sometimes I like to treat him to breakfast. It doesn't happen very often. Although I like to get up early these days, a change from my younger years!! I don't often like to cook early in the day, messes up the kitchen... Boo for messes... And due to wrestling, science fairs, and his job we haven't had any Saturdays for quite awhile. I DO NOT cook breakfast on school days. That's what Pop Tarts are for! Anyway the other day I wanted to fix him breakfast so I tried a quick treat. He has a sweet tooth so I knew he would love these little gems. By the way hubs and DS4 loves them too.
Fried Doughnuts
simple canned refrigerator doughnuts, as many as you think your crew will eat.
Enough vegetable oil to fill a frying pan about 3/4 inch
Powdered sugar, 1/2 cup or more
Milk, 1-2 Tablespoons
Mix powdered sugar and milk to make a glaze for the doughnuts.
Heat oil to a medium high. I didn't use a thermometer.... no clue how hot it got...
Poke a hole in each biscuit. Just use your finger. Stretch the hole in the biscuit a bit.
Carefully lay the biscuits in the hot oil. It only takes a minute so watch them carefully and turn them when they brown on one side.
Drain the doughnuts on paper towels.
When the doughnuts have drained for a bit dip them in the glaze, turn and dip the other side and place on a cooling rack. Eat them as soon as you can!! because they wont last long!!
Just a little side note: All of the ingredients of this breakfast treat were purchased using coupons. I used them in conjunction with sales to get the biggest bang for my buck. In total I doubt this treat for DS5 cost a more than 75 cents for 10 doughnuts! No that's a bargain. I have included a link to The Grocery Game web site for your perusal. If you decide to try it out use me as a referral, I'll appreciate it!!
http://www.TheGroceryGame.com/ref/32-tweZ/
Loving Jesus, my family and all of you,
Laurie Jo
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Lemon Rosemary Roasted Chicken.... Cooking Up Some Chicken Love...
Not my typical post maybe but had to share this little concoction of chicken love!! DS5 loves chicken. I'm not sure if this is his favorite but he pretty much likes any chicken and he ate this up. It is soooo easy.
Heat oven to 375.
4-5 lb. roasting chicken, wash it if you want but it's unnecessary and means you have to sanitize your sink
2 TBSP softened butter, rubbed on chicken, makes the skin so crisp and yummy!
Season the chicken with some salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, etc. I use my own mix that I call my house seasoning. (Maybe I share it with you sometime.)
1 medium onion, sliced into 6-8 thicker slices and 4-6 thin slices
1 lemon, sliced, make several slices thin
6-8 sprigs of fresh rosemary
Gently loosen the skin on the chicken breast. Slide a few thin slices of onion, a slice or two of lemon, a couple of sprigs of rosemary under the skin. Stuff the rest of the rosemary and lemon into the cavity of the chicken.
Place the 6-8 thicker slices of onion in the bottom of a roaster pan. I line mine with foil to make clean up easier. Place chicken on the bed of onion slices.
Roast chicken for 30-40 minutes at 375, then turn oven up to 425 and roast for another 10-20. Check it frequently in the last 20 minutes and tent it with foil if the skin begins to darken too much.
I meant to take pics of this yummy entree but we were in too much of a hurry to eat!! It is so yummy! It has just a bit of citrus tang and the freshness of the rosemary.
I served a cheesy California blend of vegetables, cinnamon applesauce and crescent rolls but I think it would go well with a pilaf or buttered egg noodles or any number of other sides.
I have also done this in my crock pot, just as delicious!
Leave me a comment if you try and like it... or don't like it (YIKES!) or maybe you improve it somehow.... :)
Heat oven to 375.
4-5 lb. roasting chicken, wash it if you want but it's unnecessary and means you have to sanitize your sink
2 TBSP softened butter, rubbed on chicken, makes the skin so crisp and yummy!
Season the chicken with some salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, etc. I use my own mix that I call my house seasoning. (Maybe I share it with you sometime.)
1 medium onion, sliced into 6-8 thicker slices and 4-6 thin slices
1 lemon, sliced, make several slices thin
6-8 sprigs of fresh rosemary
Gently loosen the skin on the chicken breast. Slide a few thin slices of onion, a slice or two of lemon, a couple of sprigs of rosemary under the skin. Stuff the rest of the rosemary and lemon into the cavity of the chicken.
Place the 6-8 thicker slices of onion in the bottom of a roaster pan. I line mine with foil to make clean up easier. Place chicken on the bed of onion slices.
Roast chicken for 30-40 minutes at 375, then turn oven up to 425 and roast for another 10-20. Check it frequently in the last 20 minutes and tent it with foil if the skin begins to darken too much.
I meant to take pics of this yummy entree but we were in too much of a hurry to eat!! It is so yummy! It has just a bit of citrus tang and the freshness of the rosemary.
I served a cheesy California blend of vegetables, cinnamon applesauce and crescent rolls but I think it would go well with a pilaf or buttered egg noodles or any number of other sides.
I have also done this in my crock pot, just as delicious!
Leave me a comment if you try and like it... or don't like it (YIKES!) or maybe you improve it somehow.... :)
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Things your Hubby Needs to Hear From You
I believe that God made us, as women, to be helpmeets for our husbands. That's our job. It's not our only job but it is a very important one. So I got to thinking about what exactly Hubby needs from me. Of course, there are the obvious things... like he really needs me to help match his ties, shirts, coats, and pants! He needs me to make sure he eats a balanced diet. He needs me to run the household. He needs me to mother his children. He needs me to make sure the shower is cleaned every now and again and to mop his coffee drips off the counter. But one of the things that I think he needs most from me is to balance all the negative messages that the world sends his way everyday. He also needs me to speak truth to him when the world would have him believe a lie or maybe just when he has convinced himself of some crazy notion!
So what kinds of things do ours hubs need to hear from us....
The short list....
1. I love you. I know that maybe you think you need to hear it from him more than he needs to hear it from you but he needs it. He actually needs to hear it with some specifics. For example "I love you because you cry at the end of sappy movies. Or I love you because you are so sweet to our little old lady neighbor. I don't know what it is that makes you go "Awwww" about him but you do so tell him.
2. You are completely amazing!! Not just what you do but who you are! You are an amazing person! I am sure that there isn't another person on the planet as fantastic as you! It may sound a bit over-the-top and it might make him giggle but it will also make him smile. :-)
Those are easy-peasy compared to this one.... especially if you are dying to tell your story (like I so often am) or have some task you just have to get done (my list of things to accomplish has be pushed aside for a few minutes).
3. Tell me about it. I want to hear about.... I have time to listen. (Then you have to really listen. Eye contact, hands still, the whole sha-bang!) :-)
All of those are relatively easy compared to this last one. This one has to be delivered with the right attitude. It can't smack of any amount of snottiness or snideness or know-it-allishness. (My made up words!)
4. Honey, I think you are wrong about this. You might consider this side of it, Sweetie. Darling, are you sure that's what he meant when he said that? Maybe he just meant this... You get the idea. Sometimes we have to be the voice of reason when hubs get bent out of shape over something and just can't wrap his brain around it.
I promise your hubby needs to hear these things from you. Tell him the first one at every opportunity. Use the second one as often as possible. Look for every reason to use #3. Save the fourth one for very important situations where hubs is struggling with something and never use it out of anger or spite. Be the helper that God designed for your husband. He put you together because you are specifically suited to each other. Be that wife that your hubby needs.
For the Lover of my soul and yours,
Laurie Jo
One of my fav bloggers posted this today. Check her out. It must be Jesus trying to get through to me in some way that He laid my post on my heart last evening and then this one hits my inbox today!! :)
Women Living Well Revive Your Marriage Series
One of my fav bloggers posted this today. Check her out. It must be Jesus trying to get through to me in some way that He laid my post on my heart last evening and then this one hits my inbox today!! :)
Women Living Well Revive Your Marriage Series
Monday, September 17, 2012
How to Fight Fair - NOT!
I am not one that is know for holding my tongue. I wish I was. It is a trait that I admire in others and one that I have asked God for help with oh, so very with many times! (My request usually results in a test within just a few hours... and I typically fail miserably!) Anyway, my point is that when hubby and I disagree, I often don't hold my tongue. Unfortunately, it seems I must have my say. Now we can disagree about some things and that is all it is... disagreeing. But there are other things that we can't disagree on without it becoming more than that.
So when the disagreement becomes more than a disagreement how do you handle it? How do you fight fair....
A few tips...
1. If the other person raises their voice, take yours up several decibels, just to be sure that you are
noticed and your point is made!
2. Sarcasm is very important. Master the art of snottiness. The snippiest, snottiest retort wins!
3. Creative name-calling is a skill to be developed and honed. Use a dictionary in your spare time to
look up nasty names.
4. If you can't win, at least don't lose! Don't let the other person make their point. Interrupt, pout, use
tears, whatever works! If you are physically bigger than the other person, use your size to your
advantage. At all costs and whatever it takes... don't let them make their point!
5. Bring up past transgressions. Forgiveness is waaayyy over-rated! especially if you're losing the
argument! Not only might you have enough ammunition to make the other person feel badly about
themselves but even if you can't do that you can deflect the argument to one you can win, one where
the other person messed up before.
Obviously I am writing tongue-in-cheek but I think that as women sometimes we don't fight fair. (Maybe I shouldn't generalize like that... maybe it's just me!) I will admit, much to my chagrin, that I have used these tactics at times. Sometimes without really realizing it and other times with absolute complete knowledge and malice of forethought! :-/ Sometimes things become so hard to discuss rationally. Let me encourage you to examine if what you what to discuss really is that important. There really are some things worth discussing in a marriage even though it may be difficult to do that without getting upset and the discussion turning into an "argument". However, these things don't include what kind of flooring you want for the family room or whether or not you should spend Christmas with his parents or yours. While both of those things have to be decided eventually they are rarely worth a true argument. I have cried and screeched and pouted and manipulated my way through lots of issues in our marriage. (head hanging... not at all proud) But I have learned a few things through the years. This isn't to say that hubby and I never have arguments anymore because we do. In fact, an argument prompted this blog post! An argument over flooring in our family room!!! (red faced and embarrassed at my silliness!)
I will tell you that prayer changes a lot of things including minds. At times it has changed my mind; other times it has changed hubby's. It has changed circumstances so that there was no need for a discussion that could have turned into an argument. And it has changed hearts after an argument so that forgiveness is genuine and true. I have talked to Jesus just like he was my girlfriend. Please... don't think I'm being sacrilegious! I just mean that sometimes I just poured my heart out to Him. I told him things like the fact that my feelings were hurt and that I didn't even like my husband right then. I've even told Him that I wished I could punch hubby in the nose! Sometimes at the end of those conversations with Jesus I feel silly but I never feel unloved! I know he understands. Sometimes the Lover of my soul shows me how silly I have been. Sometimes He reminds me of all the wonderful things that I truly treasure about hubby. Sometimes I know He says that I will just have to endure whatever little thing has bothered me so badly! (I don't like this answer too much!!) But whatever the answer I can say with 100% assurance that I feel better after a talk with Jesus. I am also able to act more like the Godly wife that I really desire to be.
It might be that some of you are railing against this idea that I have changed my mind or my heart has been changed instead of me winning the argument.... hmmmm, me too! Sometimes! You know that country song where she sings that she just "wants to be mad for a while"? That's me sometimes!! But it really doesn't get me anywhere. Hubby is usually oblivious to it and if he does notice he has been known to dig his heels in a bit deeper! (Imagine, a stubborn man?! NEVER!) But I don't really want to live in a marriage where I am mad or where I manipulate my sweetheart. Often a wife wants hubby to change his ways but I have found in my marriage (and I suspect that this is true in most marriages) I can't change hubby. He has free will. He will do what he wants. If I want to be pleasing to the Lover of my soul I have to do the right thing and let hubby figure out what the right thing is for him on his own. I can only figure this out for me and sometimes that is quite a chore! (Truly, hubby usually figures it out! Usually sooner rather than later and I don't get pegged as the holier-than-thou, nagging wife! I think he suspects that I pray his way to some changes of heart and mind though. :-] But... what husband wouldn't want a wife that prays for him?!)
For the Lover of your soul and mine,
Laurie Jo
So when the disagreement becomes more than a disagreement how do you handle it? How do you fight fair....
A few tips...
1. If the other person raises their voice, take yours up several decibels, just to be sure that you are
noticed and your point is made!
2. Sarcasm is very important. Master the art of snottiness. The snippiest, snottiest retort wins!
3. Creative name-calling is a skill to be developed and honed. Use a dictionary in your spare time to
look up nasty names.
4. If you can't win, at least don't lose! Don't let the other person make their point. Interrupt, pout, use
tears, whatever works! If you are physically bigger than the other person, use your size to your
advantage. At all costs and whatever it takes... don't let them make their point!
5. Bring up past transgressions. Forgiveness is waaayyy over-rated! especially if you're losing the
argument! Not only might you have enough ammunition to make the other person feel badly about
themselves but even if you can't do that you can deflect the argument to one you can win, one where
the other person messed up before.
Obviously I am writing tongue-in-cheek but I think that as women sometimes we don't fight fair. (Maybe I shouldn't generalize like that... maybe it's just me!) I will admit, much to my chagrin, that I have used these tactics at times. Sometimes without really realizing it and other times with absolute complete knowledge and malice of forethought! :-/ Sometimes things become so hard to discuss rationally. Let me encourage you to examine if what you what to discuss really is that important. There really are some things worth discussing in a marriage even though it may be difficult to do that without getting upset and the discussion turning into an "argument". However, these things don't include what kind of flooring you want for the family room or whether or not you should spend Christmas with his parents or yours. While both of those things have to be decided eventually they are rarely worth a true argument. I have cried and screeched and pouted and manipulated my way through lots of issues in our marriage. (head hanging... not at all proud) But I have learned a few things through the years. This isn't to say that hubby and I never have arguments anymore because we do. In fact, an argument prompted this blog post! An argument over flooring in our family room!!! (red faced and embarrassed at my silliness!)
I will tell you that prayer changes a lot of things including minds. At times it has changed my mind; other times it has changed hubby's. It has changed circumstances so that there was no need for a discussion that could have turned into an argument. And it has changed hearts after an argument so that forgiveness is genuine and true. I have talked to Jesus just like he was my girlfriend. Please... don't think I'm being sacrilegious! I just mean that sometimes I just poured my heart out to Him. I told him things like the fact that my feelings were hurt and that I didn't even like my husband right then. I've even told Him that I wished I could punch hubby in the nose! Sometimes at the end of those conversations with Jesus I feel silly but I never feel unloved! I know he understands. Sometimes the Lover of my soul shows me how silly I have been. Sometimes He reminds me of all the wonderful things that I truly treasure about hubby. Sometimes I know He says that I will just have to endure whatever little thing has bothered me so badly! (I don't like this answer too much!!) But whatever the answer I can say with 100% assurance that I feel better after a talk with Jesus. I am also able to act more like the Godly wife that I really desire to be.
It might be that some of you are railing against this idea that I have changed my mind or my heart has been changed instead of me winning the argument.... hmmmm, me too! Sometimes! You know that country song where she sings that she just "wants to be mad for a while"? That's me sometimes!! But it really doesn't get me anywhere. Hubby is usually oblivious to it and if he does notice he has been known to dig his heels in a bit deeper! (Imagine, a stubborn man?! NEVER!) But I don't really want to live in a marriage where I am mad or where I manipulate my sweetheart. Often a wife wants hubby to change his ways but I have found in my marriage (and I suspect that this is true in most marriages) I can't change hubby. He has free will. He will do what he wants. If I want to be pleasing to the Lover of my soul I have to do the right thing and let hubby figure out what the right thing is for him on his own. I can only figure this out for me and sometimes that is quite a chore! (Truly, hubby usually figures it out! Usually sooner rather than later and I don't get pegged as the holier-than-thou, nagging wife! I think he suspects that I pray his way to some changes of heart and mind though. :-] But... what husband wouldn't want a wife that prays for him?!)
For the Lover of your soul and mine,
Laurie Jo
Friday, September 7, 2012
Musings on Marriage and Woohoo! :-)
Hubby and I went on a little date. We took the evening of 'no football' to run out and see a movie. Several friends had told me how good it was and how funny "Hope Springs" was. I wasn't disappointed. It was funny in parts but it had more parts that were just sad to me. I would recommend it but it isn't a romantic comedy! (I would not recommend it for children or even teens. There is frank discussion about sexual matters and besides that I don't think they would enjoy it at all! or , at least, I don't think my 18 and 19 yo DSs would!) It is about an empty-nester couple who are in a total rut in their marriage. They work, she cooks, he eats and watches the Golf Channel. They aren't intimate anymore and haven't been for over 4 years! I will tell you that I am completely saddened by this. I got the feeling from nervous laughter in the theater that this situation isn't that uncommon. In the movie it finally comes out that she often turned him away earlier in their marriage. Of course, this isn't the only problem or really even the biggest problem. They also have trouble communicating.... about everything but, of course, that means there is trouble communicating in intimate situations too. He has shut her off and she has clammed up. Just like my mammaw said "Two wrongs don't make a right." These things and some others have added up to her being dissatisfied with the marriage. The catch is she still really loves him and he loves her too. They just really vacuum (that's my word for 'sucks' because I hate that word!) at it! It got me to thinking though. What could she have done differently to avoid this problem. Here are my muddled musings....
(BTW, I am writing about what she could have done because I think I probably have a predominantly female readership on this blog. I am mulling over a post about what he could have done. Maybe.. someday... because I figure there might be a few men out there reading too.)
1. Don't turn your husband away when it comes to sexual intimacy. Why?
Because he loves you... no matter what size you are or whether you have shaved your legs today. It doesn't bother him that you are wearing an old t-shirt to bed. In fact, he might like it. :) He needs you. Men have a need for physical intimacy and it can sometimes be a gateway to emotional intimacy. Ladies, I know that we are often wired in exactly the opposite way. We need emotional intimacy before we feel "romantically inclined" but it's okay to do it the other way around sometimes too.
Now don't get me wrong... sometimes... if you are sick or dead on your feet or ??? of course, it's OK to say to your sweet hubby "Honey, I just don't feel good or I'm just too tired' but as a general rule take the good advice given to me by an older woman shortly before my wedding.... "Don't say No very often." She actually told me that if I didn't say no I would probably find myself having a good time before too long anyway and end up not regretting it. She has been right many, many times. ;)
2. Be a fun, creative partner.
Men who love their wives often get a great deal of satisfaction from providing a pleasurable experience for their wife. We should do the same. We should be willing to allow our hubby to please us and willing to do things that please him. Again, a caveat... I don't mean that you should do things that are physically uncomfortable but don't refuse do something because you have some notion from somewhere in your past that it's nasty or disgusting or ???? Ladies, God created sexual intimacy. He wants us to enjoy it! Have a little fun with it! Be adventurous! (Of course, this is within the confines of things that you and hubby both agree to and within the boundaries of your marriage but after that anything else is fair game.) That same wise older woman give me this good advice as well. "Now that you're married... anything goes!" :)
3. Talk!!!!
For some of us this comes naturally; for others it's more difficult. Some of us are married to guys that don't have the gift of words. You still need to communicate with that man of yours. If something is wrong in your marriage it won't get fixed by ignoring it. If you need to talk, you must talk. Talk first to the Lover of your soul. Pour your heart out to Jesus first and ask for guidance. Ask Him to work on you first, to fix you first! Then if you still have a problem ask Him to give you opportunities and words to talk to your sweet husband. Then wait! Wait for the right time and the right words. Sometimes it helps to write things down. Or, at least, it helps me! Sometimes when I write things down they sound so completely stupid or silly that I decide I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. Other times I use my writing as a way to organize my thoughts.
Whatever you do I sincerely hope that no one reading this is as sad as the couple in this movie! If you are reading this and you and your hubby are struggling in this area you can know this... right now, this evening, I have said a prayer for you that things will improve like they did for the couple in the movie! (Sorry for the spoiler but you would have guessed it anyway!)
For the Lover of my soul and yours,
Laurie Jo
(BTW, I am writing about what she could have done because I think I probably have a predominantly female readership on this blog. I am mulling over a post about what he could have done. Maybe.. someday... because I figure there might be a few men out there reading too.)
1. Don't turn your husband away when it comes to sexual intimacy. Why?
Because he loves you... no matter what size you are or whether you have shaved your legs today. It doesn't bother him that you are wearing an old t-shirt to bed. In fact, he might like it. :) He needs you. Men have a need for physical intimacy and it can sometimes be a gateway to emotional intimacy. Ladies, I know that we are often wired in exactly the opposite way. We need emotional intimacy before we feel "romantically inclined" but it's okay to do it the other way around sometimes too.
Now don't get me wrong... sometimes... if you are sick or dead on your feet or ??? of course, it's OK to say to your sweet hubby "Honey, I just don't feel good or I'm just too tired' but as a general rule take the good advice given to me by an older woman shortly before my wedding.... "Don't say No very often." She actually told me that if I didn't say no I would probably find myself having a good time before too long anyway and end up not regretting it. She has been right many, many times. ;)
2. Be a fun, creative partner.
Men who love their wives often get a great deal of satisfaction from providing a pleasurable experience for their wife. We should do the same. We should be willing to allow our hubby to please us and willing to do things that please him. Again, a caveat... I don't mean that you should do things that are physically uncomfortable but don't refuse do something because you have some notion from somewhere in your past that it's nasty or disgusting or ???? Ladies, God created sexual intimacy. He wants us to enjoy it! Have a little fun with it! Be adventurous! (Of course, this is within the confines of things that you and hubby both agree to and within the boundaries of your marriage but after that anything else is fair game.) That same wise older woman give me this good advice as well. "Now that you're married... anything goes!" :)
3. Talk!!!!
For some of us this comes naturally; for others it's more difficult. Some of us are married to guys that don't have the gift of words. You still need to communicate with that man of yours. If something is wrong in your marriage it won't get fixed by ignoring it. If you need to talk, you must talk. Talk first to the Lover of your soul. Pour your heart out to Jesus first and ask for guidance. Ask Him to work on you first, to fix you first! Then if you still have a problem ask Him to give you opportunities and words to talk to your sweet husband. Then wait! Wait for the right time and the right words. Sometimes it helps to write things down. Or, at least, it helps me! Sometimes when I write things down they sound so completely stupid or silly that I decide I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. Other times I use my writing as a way to organize my thoughts.
Whatever you do I sincerely hope that no one reading this is as sad as the couple in this movie! If you are reading this and you and your hubby are struggling in this area you can know this... right now, this evening, I have said a prayer for you that things will improve like they did for the couple in the movie! (Sorry for the spoiler but you would have guessed it anyway!)
For the Lover of my soul and yours,
Laurie Jo
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Being Chased Down and Grabbed Ahold of... by God!
Note: If you missed my earlier blog entry about DS#5 and our adoption story you might want to go back and read that one first.
I have heard about people being chased by God but I have never really felt chased down. This story I am about to share with you is a true chase down.... by God..... of DS#5.
To set the scene.... It's a gorgeous Friday night in August. The marching band plays the National Anthem. The cheerleaders sing the school song. The team is gathered waiting to storm the field. Friday Night Lights, the real thing. (I love football!) I get the text.....
"I'm by the concession stand. I'm 6'2"so I'm hard to miss. Wearing a gray t-shirt, headed your way."
I was about to met DS#5's third grade teacher. Let's call her A. And sure enough, I didn't miss her. She was tall and beautiful.... inside and out.
I knew she was coming to the game and was excited to meet her. You see, I had been hearing about this woman for a while now. She is pretty much DS#5's only positive memory of life before foster care. In fact, he has said that she was "like a mother" to him for that year of his life. He has said this a few times and it always makes me sad and thankful and scared. Sad that he had to have a teacher "be like a mom" to him. Thankful that this lovely young woman was willing to "be like a mom" to him. And scared that some student may have needed this from me and I missed it. :/
That year A. was a first year teacher. I think she was 24 at the time. She was a newly-wed with a new house. Her husband was a youth minister and a high school teacher. They had a couple of needy teenage boys (in a bad foster care situation) that stayed with them pretty much all the time. One of them had special needs. Her life was full of challenges. But A. loves Jesus and because of her love of Jesus and her reliance on Him she was able to meet those challenges and fall in love with my sweet baby.
She tells me he was angry and that his home life was very difficult. She tells me that even through his anger she could see a little boy underneath with a heart full of compassion and a need for love. I know that little boy.... he moved in with us 4 years ago.... I'm not really sure where he went or when he left but I know this: we don't see him much anymore. :)
She recalls that #5 was kind of a bully. (Yep, I've met that guy too.) But that he really wanted to have friends and that she thought he was mostly frustrated with trying to fit in. (Ummm, yep, again.) She remembers that she would take him to the gym during recess and they would play basketball together instead of letting him go to the playground, just so he wouldn't get in trouble. She tells me that she never met birth mom but never heard anything good about her. (Not a surprise to me!) She tells me that she has been praying for my little guy ever since she had him in class and has often wondered what had happened to him. (I have to tell you that as I proofread this it makes me chuckle at calling him "my little guy"! He's 6'2" and 245lbs!)
A. recalls the day last spring when her school secretary came to her room and told her that a kid had called school and asked if she still taught there and then asked to speak to her. He told the secretary that his name had changed but that he used to go by Joey. A. knew immediately who was on the phone and made a few moments to talk to him. He told her that she had "changed his life" and that if it was okay with her he would like to see her and he wanted to let her know that he "was okay"! Through tears she thanked him for calling her and told him that she would love to see him again!
That afternoon he talked to his dad and later me on the phone. (I was in Pittsburgh that week with one of my research students at the International Science and Engineering Fair.) He told us that he had contacted A. and that he really wanted to go see her again. He told us again how important she had been to him that year. He doesn't often share stuff about his past with us. He has told us things but it isn't some place he dwells a lot. (I think because it was so bad and the now is so much better.) But when he does tell us about his "before us" life we definitely perk up and listen. Of course, his daddy and I told him he could go meet her. And I breathed a little prayer that she would understand how important she was to him. Now I understand that no prayers are wasted.... you can't waste a convo with your Heavenly Father.... but this one had been answered LONG before it ever flitted through my little brain!!
One afternoon not long after that phone call #5 took to the road and headed to the school where A. still teaches. She told me how as she looked at #5 she began to cry because she could see that he wasn't that angry little boy. Through teary eyes she tells me about how she could see that he was now a happy, healthy, strong young man. She could tell while talking to him that he loves Jesus and that he really. is. okay.
While she tells me these things and other things about #5's past I cry.... several times! (And while she is telling me these things #5 is on the field, snapping the ball, blocking, making stops, knocking the opponents down and then picking them up and patting them on the top of their helmets! playing a really nice game! I see most of it through my tears!)
A. took a special interest in my baby boy. She did a little more. She cared. She was hands and feet for a year for #5. But it didn't stop there. She continued to pray. Prayer is soooo powerful.
It was just a little more than a year later, as #5 was about to start fifth grade, that A. heard that his B-mom had dropped him off at a DCFS office. She was heart-broken for him. As she told me about hearing this she teared up and says that she was really worried about him. What does a Christian woman do when the worry rears it's ugly, joy-stealing, time-consuming head..... she prays and that's exactly what A. did. She prayed... some more.
And I am so glad that she prayed. Because God heard those prayers. He heard them and He answered them. I wonder how many things were changed because of her prayers. Did #5 have the courage to ask to talk with #2 that evening at camp because she was praying for him? Knowing him now we know that would be somewhat uncharacteristic of him. Was she praying for him when his first foster family decided to become foster parents? They weren't his forever family but they played a crucially important role. We were not ready and wouldn't have been able to take him if it had happened three years earlier. Was she praying for him the day that #2 called me and asked me to pray for him as well because his B-mom had terminated her parental rights, the day that I kept hearing the Lord tell me "hands and feet, hands and feet"? Was she praying when we had clear Saturdays for the foster parenting classes and there was room for us in those classes? I feel sure that she prayed a quick foster parent license approval through the system and didn't even realize what she was praying for!! I would bet hard-earned money (if I were a betting woman) that she was praying the day of that meeting. The one where the case-worker supervisor wanted our process to take several months and everyone else in the room convinced her to let us move him home in two days!!! I am absolutely certain that she has been praying at times when I have had supernatural, Holy Spirit-granted, patience or understanding or self-control in dealing with this big goofball of a teenage boy! I wonder if she was praying for him every time he remembered her and that someone really did care about him. Could she have been praying for him when he got the idea that he should call the school to ask if she still taught there so many years later? A. tells me that her last school year ended very badly with her having to tell her class that one of her students had a serious form of leukemia. Her summer was worse as she visited this student at the children's hospital and then again when he lost his battle just 6 weeks later. She was struggling at the beginning of this school year when #5 emailed her to ask if she would attend his ballgame. That invite was just what she needed to remind her of why she teaches. Wonder who was praying for whom that time? :)
Now, this blog post is titled "Being Chased Down and Grabbed Ahold of... by God" and so far it has been mostly about people praying and being willing to be used by God. But that's how God chases us sometimes.... with other people as his feet and He often uses other peoples' hands to grad ahold of us. I wonder how many times I have had a thought of good to be done, a thought planted by God, a thought prayed into my head by someone interceding for me or someone else, that I have dismissed. I wonder who God was trying to chase down using me as his feet. Who have I missed grabbing ahold of for Jesus? Has he been trying to use someone to chase me down or grab ahold of me? Have I run away from them and Him?
Lord, I'm sorry for not doing the good I could do. Give me the strength to do the good you set before me. Lord, help me to see the opportunity to be hands and feet for you. Lord, give me another chance to chase and grab ahold of those people that I have missed my opportunity with. Lord, put new people in my path to chase down for you, to grab ahold of for you. Lord, don't let me run away from you! I want to be caught and held onto tightly! And Lord, thank you for the strength already given me and the answers to prayers already given. Father God, thank you so much for A, for her willingness to be hands and feet for you. Thank you for putting her in #5's young life to love him before I could get there. Lord, thank you for her tenacity in loving him even though she hadn't even seen him for nearly ten years! Thank you, Lord, for the blessing, The. Absolute. Blessing. that it has been to parent this amazing young man. It truly is one of the five greatest blessing of my life. Thank you, Jesus, for your scarred hands and feet and your sacrifice... for me, for A., for #5, for all of us.
I would love to hear from you. Please leave me a comment.
For the Lover and the Chaser of my soul and yours,
Laurie Jo
I have heard about people being chased by God but I have never really felt chased down. This story I am about to share with you is a true chase down.... by God..... of DS#5.
To set the scene.... It's a gorgeous Friday night in August. The marching band plays the National Anthem. The cheerleaders sing the school song. The team is gathered waiting to storm the field. Friday Night Lights, the real thing. (I love football!) I get the text.....
"I'm by the concession stand. I'm 6'2"so I'm hard to miss. Wearing a gray t-shirt, headed your way."
I was about to met DS#5's third grade teacher. Let's call her A. And sure enough, I didn't miss her. She was tall and beautiful.... inside and out.
I knew she was coming to the game and was excited to meet her. You see, I had been hearing about this woman for a while now. She is pretty much DS#5's only positive memory of life before foster care. In fact, he has said that she was "like a mother" to him for that year of his life. He has said this a few times and it always makes me sad and thankful and scared. Sad that he had to have a teacher "be like a mom" to him. Thankful that this lovely young woman was willing to "be like a mom" to him. And scared that some student may have needed this from me and I missed it. :/
That year A. was a first year teacher. I think she was 24 at the time. She was a newly-wed with a new house. Her husband was a youth minister and a high school teacher. They had a couple of needy teenage boys (in a bad foster care situation) that stayed with them pretty much all the time. One of them had special needs. Her life was full of challenges. But A. loves Jesus and because of her love of Jesus and her reliance on Him she was able to meet those challenges and fall in love with my sweet baby.
She tells me he was angry and that his home life was very difficult. She tells me that even through his anger she could see a little boy underneath with a heart full of compassion and a need for love. I know that little boy.... he moved in with us 4 years ago.... I'm not really sure where he went or when he left but I know this: we don't see him much anymore. :)
She recalls that #5 was kind of a bully. (Yep, I've met that guy too.) But that he really wanted to have friends and that she thought he was mostly frustrated with trying to fit in. (Ummm, yep, again.) She remembers that she would take him to the gym during recess and they would play basketball together instead of letting him go to the playground, just so he wouldn't get in trouble. She tells me that she never met birth mom but never heard anything good about her. (Not a surprise to me!) She tells me that she has been praying for my little guy ever since she had him in class and has often wondered what had happened to him. (I have to tell you that as I proofread this it makes me chuckle at calling him "my little guy"! He's 6'2" and 245lbs!)
A. recalls the day last spring when her school secretary came to her room and told her that a kid had called school and asked if she still taught there and then asked to speak to her. He told the secretary that his name had changed but that he used to go by Joey. A. knew immediately who was on the phone and made a few moments to talk to him. He told her that she had "changed his life" and that if it was okay with her he would like to see her and he wanted to let her know that he "was okay"! Through tears she thanked him for calling her and told him that she would love to see him again!
That afternoon he talked to his dad and later me on the phone. (I was in Pittsburgh that week with one of my research students at the International Science and Engineering Fair.) He told us that he had contacted A. and that he really wanted to go see her again. He told us again how important she had been to him that year. He doesn't often share stuff about his past with us. He has told us things but it isn't some place he dwells a lot. (I think because it was so bad and the now is so much better.) But when he does tell us about his "before us" life we definitely perk up and listen. Of course, his daddy and I told him he could go meet her. And I breathed a little prayer that she would understand how important she was to him. Now I understand that no prayers are wasted.... you can't waste a convo with your Heavenly Father.... but this one had been answered LONG before it ever flitted through my little brain!!
One afternoon not long after that phone call #5 took to the road and headed to the school where A. still teaches. She told me how as she looked at #5 she began to cry because she could see that he wasn't that angry little boy. Through teary eyes she tells me about how she could see that he was now a happy, healthy, strong young man. She could tell while talking to him that he loves Jesus and that he really. is. okay.
While she tells me these things and other things about #5's past I cry.... several times! (And while she is telling me these things #5 is on the field, snapping the ball, blocking, making stops, knocking the opponents down and then picking them up and patting them on the top of their helmets! playing a really nice game! I see most of it through my tears!)
A. took a special interest in my baby boy. She did a little more. She cared. She was hands and feet for a year for #5. But it didn't stop there. She continued to pray. Prayer is soooo powerful.
It was just a little more than a year later, as #5 was about to start fifth grade, that A. heard that his B-mom had dropped him off at a DCFS office. She was heart-broken for him. As she told me about hearing this she teared up and says that she was really worried about him. What does a Christian woman do when the worry rears it's ugly, joy-stealing, time-consuming head..... she prays and that's exactly what A. did. She prayed... some more.
And I am so glad that she prayed. Because God heard those prayers. He heard them and He answered them. I wonder how many things were changed because of her prayers. Did #5 have the courage to ask to talk with #2 that evening at camp because she was praying for him? Knowing him now we know that would be somewhat uncharacteristic of him. Was she praying for him when his first foster family decided to become foster parents? They weren't his forever family but they played a crucially important role. We were not ready and wouldn't have been able to take him if it had happened three years earlier. Was she praying for him the day that #2 called me and asked me to pray for him as well because his B-mom had terminated her parental rights, the day that I kept hearing the Lord tell me "hands and feet, hands and feet"? Was she praying when we had clear Saturdays for the foster parenting classes and there was room for us in those classes? I feel sure that she prayed a quick foster parent license approval through the system and didn't even realize what she was praying for!! I would bet hard-earned money (if I were a betting woman) that she was praying the day of that meeting. The one where the case-worker supervisor wanted our process to take several months and everyone else in the room convinced her to let us move him home in two days!!! I am absolutely certain that she has been praying at times when I have had supernatural, Holy Spirit-granted, patience or understanding or self-control in dealing with this big goofball of a teenage boy! I wonder if she was praying for him every time he remembered her and that someone really did care about him. Could she have been praying for him when he got the idea that he should call the school to ask if she still taught there so many years later? A. tells me that her last school year ended very badly with her having to tell her class that one of her students had a serious form of leukemia. Her summer was worse as she visited this student at the children's hospital and then again when he lost his battle just 6 weeks later. She was struggling at the beginning of this school year when #5 emailed her to ask if she would attend his ballgame. That invite was just what she needed to remind her of why she teaches. Wonder who was praying for whom that time? :)
Now, this blog post is titled "Being Chased Down and Grabbed Ahold of... by God" and so far it has been mostly about people praying and being willing to be used by God. But that's how God chases us sometimes.... with other people as his feet and He often uses other peoples' hands to grad ahold of us. I wonder how many times I have had a thought of good to be done, a thought planted by God, a thought prayed into my head by someone interceding for me or someone else, that I have dismissed. I wonder who God was trying to chase down using me as his feet. Who have I missed grabbing ahold of for Jesus? Has he been trying to use someone to chase me down or grab ahold of me? Have I run away from them and Him?
Lord, I'm sorry for not doing the good I could do. Give me the strength to do the good you set before me. Lord, help me to see the opportunity to be hands and feet for you. Lord, give me another chance to chase and grab ahold of those people that I have missed my opportunity with. Lord, put new people in my path to chase down for you, to grab ahold of for you. Lord, don't let me run away from you! I want to be caught and held onto tightly! And Lord, thank you for the strength already given me and the answers to prayers already given. Father God, thank you so much for A, for her willingness to be hands and feet for you. Thank you for putting her in #5's young life to love him before I could get there. Lord, thank you for her tenacity in loving him even though she hadn't even seen him for nearly ten years! Thank you, Lord, for the blessing, The. Absolute. Blessing. that it has been to parent this amazing young man. It truly is one of the five greatest blessing of my life. Thank you, Jesus, for your scarred hands and feet and your sacrifice... for me, for A., for #5, for all of us.
I would love to hear from you. Please leave me a comment.
For the Lover and the Chaser of my soul and yours,
Laurie Jo
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Taming the Hormonal Monster!!
I teach high school biology. I am surrounded by high school girls all day, everyday. The other day in the hall during passing period I heard a girl being really hateful to her boyfriend. She screeched at him, calling him a "selfish, conceited pig!" This is not the way this young woman normally acts. Typically she is a sweet girl and they are a sweet couple. I have no idea what made her say that to him but as he walked away I smiled at him and he mumbled something about hormones. (I have had both of these students in class and we learn about hormones.) This little incident got me to thinking.... I wonder if hubby has ever walked away from me mumbling about hormones? I wonder if I have ever called him hateful names and screeched at him because of hormones? Who am I kidding? Of course, I have! And I admit that sometimes in my hormonal fog I felt completely justified in doing so. You've surely been there too....For me, it usually goes something like this.....
I have spent the afternoon fixing a delicious dinner of frozen lasagna, bagged salad, and garlic bread from the bakery.
I are completely exhausted and in need of a hot bath and a pan of brownies with a jug of milk.
I call the family to the table. Finally... they gather around and my sweet hubby says a prayer of thankfulness for the food and asks that blessings for Great-Aunt Ida who had pneumonia two months ago (and.... is FULLY recovered!) and his college room mate's grandfather who lost his 17 year old poodle. (He's never met the grandfather or the poodle and hasn't seen the room mate in 5 years!)
Meanwhile, I begin to seethe because my lasagna is getting cold!!!!
Finally..... he says "Amen"!
The boys begin to pass the food, scooping heaping helpings of their favorite dinner and...... Dropping globs of greasy, cheesy tomato sauce..... on my NEW placemats!
Hubby has the nerve to ask if me we have any FRESH Parmesan cheese! He will get it, just tell him where it is.... Oh and where is the cheese grater?
Suddenly I feel her bubbling up..... the green, hateful, hormonal hag!
You must be kidding?! How long have you lived in this house?! Must I do everything?! Why can't you just be satisfied with the stuff in the green jar?! It's already on the table! Whatever I do, it's never enough!!!! Never mind! I'll get it! Just go sit down and eat your dinner!!
I march into the kitchen and start slamming cabinet doors searching for the grater.
In the back ground I hear one of the boys whisper "Mom's having one of her days. Everybody just shut up and smile!" Smart butt kid!!
I glance at the calendar on the frig and ... sure enough!!
I run to the bathroom, sobbing!
Does this sound familiar? I know it has happened at my house and I suspect it has happened in homes of Christian mothers and wives everywhere. I hate what the hormonal monster does to me. I am usually an even-tempered, rational woman. I don't like feeling mad, or weepy, or out-of control. How does a Christian wife and mother deal with the hormonal monster? We can't really make the hormones go away so.... what to do????
Well, while I believe that the hormones and their effect are real I don't believe that they are an excuse to sin. The feelings are not sinful but the behavior can most definitely be sinful. A few less drops of estrogen coursing through my veins doesn't give me a pass on self-control.
My momma often said that right attitudes often follow right actions. In other words, sometimes you just do the right thing because its the right thing and often the right feelings will follow.
Eph. 4:26 says
So what do I do????
Pray for menopause!!! :-D No, really, pray. Maybe not for menopause but for Jesus to help me control my actions.
Give myself a timeout. Go take that bath. Go for a walk. Go sit on the porch for a few minutes.
That can't be all though, not if I've had a mini meltdown. If I acted hateful I must make amends. So I humbly go tell Hubby and the guys that I'm sorry and ask their forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but rather strength. After all, they witnessed my behavior! No need to act like it didn't happen! It would show my weakness for pride if I couldn't apologize. (I admit that sometimes I am prideful but that's another post.)
And ask that the Lord help me practice self-control next month!
For the Lover of my soul and yours,
Laurie Jo
I have spent the afternoon fixing a delicious dinner of frozen lasagna, bagged salad, and garlic bread from the bakery.
I are completely exhausted and in need of a hot bath and a pan of brownies with a jug of milk.
I call the family to the table. Finally... they gather around and my sweet hubby says a prayer of thankfulness for the food and asks that blessings for Great-Aunt Ida who had pneumonia two months ago (and.... is FULLY recovered!) and his college room mate's grandfather who lost his 17 year old poodle. (He's never met the grandfather or the poodle and hasn't seen the room mate in 5 years!)
Meanwhile, I begin to seethe because my lasagna is getting cold!!!!
Finally..... he says "Amen"!
The boys begin to pass the food, scooping heaping helpings of their favorite dinner and...... Dropping globs of greasy, cheesy tomato sauce..... on my NEW placemats!
Hubby has the nerve to ask if me we have any FRESH Parmesan cheese! He will get it, just tell him where it is.... Oh and where is the cheese grater?
Suddenly I feel her bubbling up..... the green, hateful, hormonal hag!
You must be kidding?! How long have you lived in this house?! Must I do everything?! Why can't you just be satisfied with the stuff in the green jar?! It's already on the table! Whatever I do, it's never enough!!!! Never mind! I'll get it! Just go sit down and eat your dinner!!
I march into the kitchen and start slamming cabinet doors searching for the grater.
In the back ground I hear one of the boys whisper "Mom's having one of her days. Everybody just shut up and smile!" Smart butt kid!!
I glance at the calendar on the frig and ... sure enough!!
I run to the bathroom, sobbing!
Does this sound familiar? I know it has happened at my house and I suspect it has happened in homes of Christian mothers and wives everywhere. I hate what the hormonal monster does to me. I am usually an even-tempered, rational woman. I don't like feeling mad, or weepy, or out-of control. How does a Christian wife and mother deal with the hormonal monster? We can't really make the hormones go away so.... what to do????
Well, while I believe that the hormones and their effect are real I don't believe that they are an excuse to sin. The feelings are not sinful but the behavior can most definitely be sinful. A few less drops of estrogen coursing through my veins doesn't give me a pass on self-control.
My momma often said that right attitudes often follow right actions. In other words, sometimes you just do the right thing because its the right thing and often the right feelings will follow.
Eph. 4:26 says
| |||||
Pray for menopause!!! :-D No, really, pray. Maybe not for menopause but for Jesus to help me control my actions.
Give myself a timeout. Go take that bath. Go for a walk. Go sit on the porch for a few minutes.
That can't be all though, not if I've had a mini meltdown. If I acted hateful I must make amends. So I humbly go tell Hubby and the guys that I'm sorry and ask their forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but rather strength. After all, they witnessed my behavior! No need to act like it didn't happen! It would show my weakness for pride if I couldn't apologize. (I admit that sometimes I am prideful but that's another post.)
And ask that the Lord help me practice self-control next month!
For the Lover of my soul and yours,
Laurie Jo
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