Well, ladies (and gents, if there are any of you reading) the first day of school for the teacher is over. I'm exhausted and it was a Taco Bell night. We had an open house at school so it was 7:00 before I got home! And then hubby and darling sons #3 and #4 were golfing. DS#4 was at football practice and I wasn't going to cook!!!
But that's not what this post is about.... It's about compliments. I got two compliments today, both on my appearance. Now maybe for some of you that is shallow but I still enjoyed each of them. I am a girlie girl. I like feeling feminine. I like dressing up and if you know me you know that I LOVE shoes. (They always fit or at least nobody really cares about the size as long as they're cute!) My first compliment was from my principal. He told me that I looked nice this evening and that he liked my outfit. (Bless his heart; he is the daddy to three daughters!) That was really nice of him to say and I thanked him. The second compliment came from the hubby. He didn't really say anything; he just gave me that look. You know the one that says "Baby, you look good!" That compliment made me feel really, really good. There is no one on the planet that I would rather look good to and for than the love of my life!
So why am I telling you this? Well, I guess because both compliments made me feel so good. And that got me to thinking about a couple of things.....
First, how often do I make someone feel like I did today? I'm pretty sure that hubby would tell you that I compliment him pretty often. He often looks so good and I tell him. This morning he was headed to a meeting dressed in business attire and he looked Goooodddd!!! But how often do I complment him in general? This man that I am married to is amazing! He's really good at what he does. He works hard. He's a great dad. Do I let him know how amazing I think he is? I think so but I am purposing today to be more deliberate about it. It's good to make the man in your life feel special, to let him know that you noticed that he was great with your son during a meltdown over a broken heart or that you are really proud of his accomplishments at work. I want hubby to feel better about himself when he is around me than when he is around anyone else. Now don't get me wrong. There is a definite responsibility of a wife to be honest with her husband about problems or things that he needs to change but the more common communication should make him feel good about himself and about being married to you.
Hubby isn't the only one that I want to make feel like a million bucks. I have five sons, three daugther-in-laws, lots of neices and nephews, my parents, and a bunch of students everyday starting on Friday. I want all of them to feel good about themselves when I'm with them. I want them all to know how special I think they are. (As a teacher, I know that many students want to do their best work for a teacher that has shown them how much they care about them. Just a little bonus!)
Secondly, I do kind of need compliments. I think it's one of my love languages. But sometimes hubby doesn't remember this. In fact, even though he is wonderful is countless ways, he really isn't very good at complimenting me... especially about my appearance. (Like I said even the compliment tonight was a look, not real words!) The funny thing about this is that he is great at telling my girlfriends that they are wearing a cute shirt or dress or whatever. This is not in a creepy way at all. He tells them this in front of me... but not in a way that is meant to make me feel bad or that he is comparing me to them at all. He just likes to make people feel good. My girlfriends and I all giggle about it because they know this is what he does. :) So how do I deal with this? Well, honestly, I used to get hurt feelings. I used to get really down on myself because he didn't tell me that he thought I was pretty or whatever. I used to get mad at him! I have learned something though. He doesn't realize that I need this from him! If I could tell him, it would make him sad that I need this from him and that he hadn't been doing it for me. But I can't really tell him this because he's kind of stubborn like that! (He's is supremely wonderful, ladies, but he ain't perfect!) So when I need him to notice something, like a cute dress I'm wearing, I ask him. "Honey, how do I look?" In fact, last week I asked him to help me pick an outfit for a gathering where we would be around a lot of his friends. I told him I wanted him to be proud of me. He told me how he appreciated my efforts and told me I looked very pretty in the outfit I had chosen. Not the spontaneously romantic compliment that would thrill my heart but still pretty good. The point, of course, is to let your hubby know what you need from him. In general, men are terrible mind-readers! To be fair though, we're not that good at it either, girls! So let's give 'em a fighting chance and give them a hint at what would make us happy. Communication, communication, communication!! I think we don't do this because we think it kills the romance - hogwash!! What really kills the romance is us pouting because our guy can't figure out what we want from him! Speak up, ladies!
For the Lover of my soul and yours,
Laurie Jo
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