Everything to Me - or not?

I met my darling husband when I was in the seventh grade.  He was a big eighth grader.  We became a couple when I was fourteen.  We got engaged when I was 18 and married when I was 20.  We grew up together.  He is my best friend, my soul-mate, my lover, and the father of my 5 sons.  We have been married for nearly 29 years.  But.... he does not fulfill my every need.  He can't.  God didn't give him that ability... on purpose.  If he had the ability to fulfill my every need it wouldn't be a good thing.  I absolutely adore this man as it is.  I don't need for him to be any more adorable!  No husband, no matter how wonderful, should be placed above the Lover of Our Souls, Jesus and I would be so tempted to put him up there.  

Truthfully though, I really do adore my husband but he doesn't fulfill all my needs.  You see, God made us with a need for fellowship.  And this means fellowship with more than one person.  This is one of the reasons why he created family and His bride, the church.  He knew we needed other people.  He allows us to fulfill this need in several different ways and one really beautiful way is with friends.  Thank you, Lord, for our friends.  

Girlfriends are God's gift to us.  Seek out some good Christian girlfriends.  It will be good for you and your marriage.  There are all kinds of benefits to sharing a life with girlfriends.  Girlfriends can  commiserate with us and give us fresh perspective.  Girlfriends can be an understanding ear and a shoulder to cry on.  Girlfriends can provide social relief for your husband!  Yep, that's what I said social relief.  Your husband shouldn't have to feign interest in your latest pin on pintrest or the most recent trend in shoes and bags.  And the good news about your man not being everything to you is that you in turn don't have to be everything to him!  You don't have to do all the things that he enjoys either.  If he enjoys fishing or deer hunting or golfing you can send him off to do these things with his guy friends and know that it's a good thing that you can't be each other's everything. 

So how do you cultivate these girlfriends?  Where do you find them?  Here a few ideas.

  

1. Become a member of a church and pray for a friend or friends!  The Lord commands us to participate in corporate worship but a nice benefit of this is that we find people that are there worshipping as well.  While you are there volunteer for service somewhere in the church, the nursery, the welcome center, the cleaning crew, the choir.  Do something you enjoy doing or stretch yourself.  You may meet someone that will be a lifelong friend!

2.  Volunteer in some other area of service.  Be a room mother at your child's school.  Become a den mother for a boy or girl scout troop.  Volunteer at a nursing home or an animal shelter.  Again this is another way to meet people that share similar values as you while you are doing the Lord's work of serving others.  

3.  Be hospitable.  Open your home to others.  Invite people for Sunday dinner after church or if preparing a whole meal for a group of more than four sends shivers down your spine just invite them for dessert on Friday night.  Invite another mom and her child(ren) over to play with your children.  Don't let this be intimidating.  Being hospitable is as easy as making someone else comfortable.  You can actually do this anywhere not just in your home.  It can be done at a playground or a McDonald's or a coffee shop or your back yard.  It really can be as simple as offering a glass of lemonade to a neighbor across the fence.  Just put yourself out there.  

Now a word of warning....  You will be rejected.  But that's okay.  If you are rejected, don't despair.  A person who rejects you is either not ready to be your friend right now or maybe they never will be ready, but The Lover of Your Soul has a friend or probably many friends out there for you.  Keep looking!    

  

For the Lover of my Soul and Yours who provides us with everything we need including a great friends!

Laurie Jo

In memory of my dearest friend and my other soul mate, Rita Diane, 1961-2010. Oh, how the Lover of My Soul used you to love my soul and used me to love yours!  Missing you everyday but looking forward to seeing your face right next to Jesus when I get to heaven!  Save a place for me!