I hope that this blog serves to inspire you to love your husband and your family, to create a home that is a cheerful and peaceful place for all who enter, to open your home and your heart to others, and to be the woman God created you to be. My inspiration for these things is Jesus. Any sliver of creativity or originality that is seen on this blog comes from directly from Him, the creator and center of the universe and the lover of my soul.
Now to the really important stuff....
Wedded Bliss!!! (or something like that!)
June, the month of weddings, satin and lace and pearls. Pretty girls in beautiful gowns and handsome young men in tuxedos and ties. Candlelight and music and flowers. These are the things of a beautiful wedding but.... they are not the things of wedded bliss. Now, don't misunderstand. There's nothing wrong with these things, of course, but they are not how the rest of your wedded life will look. A week or a month or 6 months after the wedding you are going to wake up and this thought will pop into your head "Holy Cow! What have I gotten myself into?! I don't even like this lazy slob, selfish pig, stubborn jerk, (you fill in the blank), much less love him!" That handsome groom of yours, the very same one who wooed you with sweet words and kind deeds, flowers and candy, and romantic dates, will have turned into this CREATURE! This guy who leaves his dirty socks in the floor and never wipes a crumb off the kitchen counter and constantly watches sports on TV. He never helps with the dishes, he hasn't told you he loves you in days (unless he wants.... something) and he wants to spend all day every Saturday with the guys hunting, fishing, golfing, etc!!! Well, ladies, guess what? Yes sirree! That lazy slob, selfish pig, stubborn jerk, (you fill in the blank) is the very same guy and yes, you married him, made a vow in front of all your wedding guests and to your alien creature husband and more importantly to God to love him till death do you part. So how do you manage to keep this vow and your sanity?
Examine your expectations of your marriage. You had this idea that your marriage would be a wonderful experience that was all candlelight and roses. OK, maybe your expectations weren't that unreasonable but my guess is they were still rather unreasonable. If you're like most young marrieds money is probably a bit tight at times. You probably are doing more housework than you did when you lived on your own or with your parents. You may have taken on things that are new to you, things like paying bills and cooking. And while you knew that these things had to get done in every family you had the notion that there would be more teamwork involved. Maybe you thought that there would be far more romance involved! You know better intellectually but that happily-ever-after fairytale expectation still haunts you. Here are a few ways to deal with your fairy tale expectations.
1. Be realistic. Life isn't a fairytale. Marriage is often work, or at least, sacrifice. No one could live up to the unrealistic expectations that many brides have of their husbands. Let go of this fairytale. God has a beautiful plan for your marriage. He will use it to show you, your husband, your children, and those around you how beautiful the relationship between Christ and His church is. He didn't write Cinderella but the story that He has for your wedded bliss is ever so much better!
2. Remember your first love. Your husband IS the same guy you fell in love with. He has the same qualities that he did when you were dating. It maybe some of these same qualities that you find so annoying now are the very ones that you found endearing while you were dating. Don't expect him to change. That's not really fair; after all you married him knowing most of these qualities. Even the qualities that you may have 'discovered' after the wedding were usually hinted at before the wedding. The truth of the matter is that the only person you have control over is you so.... you can change you or you can stay unhappy in your unrealistic expectations. You can't make him pick up his socks or wipe the crumbs of the kitchen counter after he makes a sandwich but you can decide that these things are not worth making you or your husband miserable. Don't misunderstand; I don't want you to just swallow all the things that bother you. In any successful marriage there is a give and take. You must talk to your husband and communicate the things that you need from him. This conversation should be done calmly and with love and understanding. And you should do this with the full expectation that he will have a few things that he may well have a few things that he wants you to do differently!
3. Be sure that you are the same loving, sweet, pretty girl that your husband fell in love with. Make sure that you aren't always in sweatshirts and jeans. Dress just for him sometimes, like you did when you were dating. Fix your hair and do your make-up. Men are visual creatures, and we all enjoy pretty things at times. I'm not saying that you have to do your housework dressed like June Cleaver in pearls and heels all the time but neither should you slouch around everyday. Do sweet, unexpected things for him to remind him how often you think of him during the day. Leave a note for him on his steering wheel for him to find in the morning. Leave him a favorite candy in his lunch box. Send him a message during the day telling him that you think he's handsome, wonderful, sexy, etc.
Try these things to remind yourself that your 'creature' is really your handsome prince. Let your marriage be a example of Christ and His church to all who witness it.
For the lover of your soul and mine,
Laurie Jo
No comments:
Post a Comment