Musings on Marriage and Woohoo! :-)

Hubby and I went on a little date.  We took the evening of 'no football' to run out and see a movie.  Several friends had told me how good it was and how funny "Hope Springs" was.  I wasn't disappointed.  It was funny in parts but it had more parts that were just sad to me.  I would recommend it but it isn't a romantic comedy! (I would not recommend it for children or even teens.  There is frank discussion about sexual matters and  besides that I don't think they would enjoy it at all! or , at least, I don't think my 18 and 19 yo DSs would!)  It is about an empty-nester couple who are in a total rut in their marriage.  They work, she cooks, he eats and watches the Golf Channel.  They aren't intimate anymore and haven't been for over 4 years!  I will tell you that I am completely saddened by this. I got the feeling from nervous laughter in the theater that this situation isn't that uncommon.  In the movie it finally comes out that she often turned him away earlier in their marriage.  Of course, this isn't the only problem or really even the biggest problem.  They also have trouble communicating.... about everything but, of course, that means there is trouble communicating in intimate situations too.  He has shut her off and she has clammed up.   Just like my mammaw said "Two wrongs don't make a right." These things and some others have added up to her being dissatisfied with the marriage.  The catch is she still really loves him and he loves her too.  They just really vacuum (that's my word for  'sucks' because I hate that word!) at it!  It got me to thinking though.  What could she have done differently to avoid this problem.  Here are my muddled musings....

(BTW, I am writing about what she could have done because I think I probably have a predominantly female readership on this blog.  I am mulling over a post about what he could have done.  Maybe.. someday... because I figure there might be a few men out there reading too.)

1.  Don't turn your husband away when it comes to sexual intimacy.  Why?

Because he loves you... no matter what size you are or whether you have shaved your legs today.  It doesn't bother him that you are wearing an old t-shirt to bed.  In fact, he might like it. :)  He needs you.  Men have a need for physical intimacy and it can sometimes be a gateway to emotional intimacy.  Ladies, I know that we are often wired in exactly the opposite way.  We need emotional intimacy before we feel "romantically inclined" but it's okay to do it the other way around sometimes too.

Now don't get me wrong... sometimes... if you are sick or dead on your feet or ??? of course, it's OK to say to your sweet hubby "Honey, I just don't feel good or I'm just too tired' but as a general rule take the good advice given to me by an older woman shortly before my wedding.... "Don't say No very often."  She actually told me that if I didn't say no I would probably find myself having a good time before too long anyway and end up not regretting it.  She has been right many, many times.  ;)

2.   Be a fun, creative partner.

Men who love their wives often get a great deal of satisfaction from providing a pleasurable experience for their wife.  We should do the same.  We should be willing to allow our hubby to please us and willing to do things that please him.  Again, a caveat... I don't mean that you should do things that are physically uncomfortable but don't refuse do something because you have some notion from somewhere in your past that it's nasty or disgusting or ????  Ladies, God created sexual intimacy.  He wants us to enjoy it!  Have a little fun with it!  Be adventurous!  (Of course, this is within the confines of things that you and hubby both agree to and within the boundaries of your marriage but after that anything else is fair game.)  That same wise older woman give me this good advice as well.  "Now that you're married... anything goes!"  :)

3.  Talk!!!!

For some of us this comes naturally; for others it's more difficult.  Some of us are married to guys that don't have the gift of words.  You still need to communicate with that man of yours.  If something is wrong in your marriage it won't get fixed by ignoring it.  If you need to talk, you must talk.  Talk first to the Lover of your soul.  Pour your heart out to Jesus first and ask for guidance.  Ask Him to work on you first, to fix you first!  Then if you still have a problem ask Him to give you opportunities and words to talk to your sweet husband.  Then wait!  Wait for the right time and the right words.  Sometimes it helps to write things down.  Or, at least, it helps me!  Sometimes when I write things down they sound so completely stupid or silly that I decide I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.  Other times I use my writing as a way to organize my thoughts.

Whatever you do I sincerely hope that no one reading this is as sad as the couple in this movie!  If  you are reading this and you and your hubby are struggling in this area you can know this...  right now, this evening, I have said a prayer for you that things will improve like they did for the couple in the movie!  (Sorry for the spoiler but you would have guessed it anyway!)


For the Lover of my soul and yours,

Laurie Jo



        

You look GOOOODDDD!!!! :-)

Well, ladies (and gents, if there are any of you reading) the first day of school for the teacher is over.  I'm exhausted and it was a Taco Bell night.  We had an open house at school so it was 7:00 before I got home!  And then hubby and darling sons #3 and #4 were golfing.  DS#4 was at football practice and I wasn't going to cook!!!

But that's not what this post is about....  It's about compliments.  I got two compliments today, both on my appearance.  Now maybe for some of you that is shallow but I still enjoyed each of them.  I am a girlie girl.  I like feeling feminine.  I like dressing up and if you know me you know that I LOVE shoes.  (They always fit or at least nobody really cares about the size as long as they're cute!)  My first compliment was from my principal.  He told me that I looked nice this evening and that he liked my outfit.  (Bless his heart; he is the daddy to three daughters!)  That was really nice of him to say and I thanked him.  The second compliment came from the hubby.  He didn't really say anything; he just gave me that look.  You know the one that says "Baby, you look good!"  That compliment made me feel really, really good.  There is no one on the planet that I would rather look good to and for than the love of my life!

So why am I telling you this?  Well, I guess because both compliments made me feel so good.  And that got me to thinking about a couple of things.....

First, how often do I make someone feel like I did today?  I'm pretty sure that hubby would tell you that I compliment him pretty often.  He often looks so good and I tell him.  This morning he was headed to a meeting dressed in business attire and he looked Goooodddd!!!  But how often do I complment him in general?  This man that I am married to is amazing!  He's really good at what he does.  He works hard.  He's a great dad.  Do I let him know how amazing I think he is?  I think so but I am purposing today to be more deliberate about it.  It's good to make the man in your life feel special, to let him know that you noticed that he was great with your son during a meltdown over a broken heart or that you are really proud of his accomplishments at work.  I want hubby to feel better about himself when he is around me than when he is around anyone else.  Now don't get me wrong.  There is a definite responsibility of a wife to be honest with her husband about problems or things that he needs to change but the more common communication should make him feel good about himself and about being married to you.

Hubby isn't the only one that I want to make feel like a million bucks.  I have five sons, three daugther-in-laws, lots of neices and nephews, my parents, and a bunch of students everyday starting on Friday.  I want all of them to feel good about themselves when I'm with them.  I want them all to know how special I think they are.  (As a teacher, I know that many students want to do their best work for a teacher that has shown them how much they care about them.  Just a little bonus!)

Secondly,  I do kind of need compliments.  I think it's one of my love languages.  But sometimes hubby  doesn't remember this.  In fact, even though he is wonderful is countless ways, he really isn't very good at complimenting me...  especially about my appearance.  (Like I said even the compliment tonight was a look, not real words!)  The funny thing about this is that he is great at telling my girlfriends that they are wearing a cute shirt or dress or whatever.  This is not in a creepy way at all.  He tells them this in front of me... but not in a way that is meant to make me feel bad or that he is comparing me to them at all.  He just likes to make people feel good.  My girlfriends and I all giggle about it because they know this is what he does.  :)  So how do I deal with this?  Well, honestly, I used to get hurt feelings.  I used to get really down on myself because he didn't tell me that he thought I was pretty or whatever.  I used to get mad at him!  I have learned something though.  He doesn't realize that I need this from him!  If I could tell him, it would make him sad that I need this from him and that he hadn't been doing it for me.   But I can't really tell him this because he's kind of stubborn like that!  (He's is supremely wonderful, ladies, but he ain't perfect!)  So when I need him to notice something, like a cute dress I'm wearing, I ask him.  "Honey, how do I look?"  In fact, last week I asked him to help me pick an outfit for a gathering where we would be around a lot of his friends.  I told him I wanted him to be proud of me.  He told me how he appreciated my efforts and told me I looked very pretty in the outfit I had chosen.  Not the spontaneously romantic compliment that would thrill my heart but still pretty good.  The point, of course, is to let your hubby know what you need from him.  In general, men are terrible mind-readers!  To be fair though, we're not that good at it either, girls!  So let's give 'em a fighting chance and give them a hint at what would make us happy.  Communication, communication, communication!!  I think we don't do this because we think it kills the romance - hogwash!! What really kills the romance is us pouting because our guy can't figure out what we want from him!  Speak up, ladies!

For the Lover of my soul and yours,

Laurie Jo

One Secret to Wedded Bliss....Running away from home! Together!

The hubby and I ran away from home last week!  Just for one night and we didn't run very far but we did run.  In fact, we went a mere 11 miles and stayed less than 24 hours but those hours were oh so good!

Some of you might be asking why do this for just that long and only go that far away.  Well, it's not really about travelling and seeing anything new (obviously); although we did enjoy seeing our destination as tourists even though it's in our home county.  And it's not really about time, again obviously. It was about being together, alone, and just being us, not mom and dad, or teacher and police officer, just a man and a woman in love for a lifetime.  

How do we do this?  Well, we did get lucky and got our room at the resort for free from a friend but we have done this even when it cost us a bit of cash.  But if cash is an issue, here are a few options and ideas.

1. Look for coupons online.  Check sites that post special deals like ideeli and livingsocial.  You sign up for emails and they have  some great deals.  Be sure to read the fine print on the deals but lots of people have great success with these sites.  You can even find deals for dinner out and fun attractions and events, movies, amusement park tix, etc. to go with your night at the hotel.

But if even with the coupons it's still not in the budget.... (We've been there!)

2. Find a babysitter.  Use grandparents and aunts and uncles!  Or farm the kids out to sleep-overs with buddies and plan an evening at home for just the two of you.  Our chicks that are still at home are old enough (18 and 19) to stay by themselves and they did.  Oh, the joys of having older kids!  You could fix a special dinner for hubby or order out with the money you save by staying at home or you could go out for dinner and return home later.  Whatever you choose to do make sure it's just the two of you.

3. Trade babysitting with another couple.  This works especially well if the other couples' children are close in age to your own but they don't have to be.  Sometimes it's good for kids to be around older kids.  They think it's cool.  And, of course, for older children they can be a great help with little ones so you might just be doing the other couple a bit of a favor by having your 10-15 year old stay with them if they have babies to younger school age kids.  

What to do on your date?  Well, we did the standard dinner out and a movie because hubby really wanted to see a new flick that just came out a bit ago.  We did change it up a bit when we went back to the resort, we checked in on a little club that had live entertainment.  There was a torch singer that was was really good.  I had seen her before and knew what we would be hearing so I knew he would enjoy her performance.  But again you can be as cheap or as elaborate or creative as you want.

You could....
1.  rent a movie at the little red vending machine
2.  order one on cable if you have that capability
3.  go fishing
4.  go hiking
5.  go golfing
6.  go bowling
7.  go to a museum
8.  go for a bike ride
9.  go to a festival
10.go to a game, baseball, basketball, football, whatever
11.play miniature golf
12. lazer tag
13.go paint-balling
..... the possibilities are really endless!

Active dates are probably better because there's more time for conversation.  If you want to be really creative or at least fool your hubby into thinking that you're really creative, go to www.thedatingdivas.com.  These gals have tons of really creative, cute, fun, and cheap date night ideas.  I am truly amazed by these women.  But I will admit that sometimes I look at their ideas and know that my husband would roll on the floor laughing at some of them but while the tears were rolling down his face from the hilarity I know he would appreciate the thought and effort that had gone into the planning and preparation of some of these fun dates.  Check them out.  They really are divas!

The main thing is ... don't take the kids!  No kids allowed! at all! not for dinner or the movie or the activity or staying the night with you!!!  They will live.  In fact, they will be assured that their parents still love each other and that is a precious and important assurance for kids these days.

Leave a comment for me if you have a great idea for a date night or fun get-away idea for just the two of you.  Or you can just leave a comment for any reason.  I would love to hear from you!

Wishing you wedded bliss!

For the Lover of my soul and yours,

Laurie Jo      

Loss and Love

This has been a difficult week to put it mildly.  Last Saturday my hubby lost a very dear friend.  Truthfully he was dear to both of us.  He was hubby's roommate in the police academy.  He was his partner in undercover narcotics investigations for many years and for a short time he was his sergeant.  He was larger than life, physically and personality-wise.  He was a loving, gentle giant of a man.  He saw the worst that life had to offer but always wanted to believe the best of people even when they had wronged him.  And they did wrong him.  You see, this gentle giant was a black man.  And he worked in his community fighting crime and injustice.  But even though he was often mistreated and mistrusted by his community and sometimes even his colleagues, he believed and practiced forgiveness everyday.


The loss of this man in my hubby's life will be great.  They were a great support system to each other.  He pushed hubby into his sergeants position because he knew hubby would be good supervisor.  (And he definitely is!)  Hubby challenged him in his faith. (I just recently learned that they Christmas shopped together every year!  Sneaky boogers!)  We loved him and we love his family, his lovely wife, his two sweet sons, and his adorable daughter.

So my heart is heavy this week with the loss of this man.  And my heart aches for his family and for hubby.  I know what hubby is feeling having lost my dear, sweet Rita not two years ago.  I admit I am a bit clueless as to how to help hubby deal with this loss.  I am trying to be available to him just for talking and listening and hand-holding but that is nothing new.  We "ran away from home" one night to stay at a resort not far from our home.  I think that was a good distraction for him.  More on this little trip later.  But I don't really know that anything helps other than time and the sweet knowledge that it is just a temporary separation because we will see him again.  Thank you, Lord , for the Hope of heaven.

If you don't have that Hope, please find a Christian friend, email or comment to me and let someone introduce you to Jesus.  He loves you, no matter your circumstances, your past, your lifestyle, He loves you!  And that love covers a multitude of sins, all you have to do is accept Him and learn to walk with Him.  And He is the best teacher EVER!  

Thankful for heaven and In love with Jesus, the lover of my soul and yours,

Laurie Jo        

Exhaustion and Hilarity

My sweet husband and I have been doing something a little weird for a few years now.  We sell fireworks... from a tent.... in a Walmart parking lot..... for FOURTEEN DAYS prior to the Fourth of July..... while living out of a cargo trailer!  This is completely out of our typical mode of operation.  For one thing, neither of us have any prior experience in retail or entreprenuership.  I am a high school biology teacher and he is a police officer.  I failed miserably at my only attempt at a home party business!!  Addtionally, I am NOT a camper!  My idea of "roughing it" is a hotel room instead of a condo!  But we have done this little venture for four years.  We do it under the umbrella of a charity because it's extra money in our pockets and it's extra money for our charity.  In all seriousness it has afforded us the opportunity to be generous when otherwise we couldn't have been.

We have learned of few things about ourselves and our marriage in this venture but one lesson has been blissful.

We actually enjoy each other's company.  (Now I will admit to you that this isn't really a new lesson; it's a review of an old lesson that we learned long ago.  But as a teacher I know how valuable reviews are to making knowledge stick.) I hve often said how much I enjoy being with my husband but truly it's kind of easy to say when you are only alone between 11:30 pm and 7:00 am!  (I know... some of you young mommies out there aren't alone even during these hours... Hang in there.  This too shall pass.)  But the cool thing about saying this after two weeks camping on a Walmart parking lot is that it really is true.  I know it's true because some days we are the only two people that we see that either of us even knows!  It is truer after 29 years of wedded bliss than it was in our courtship or during those honeymoon, pre-children years.  It's truer because of those years and because of the busy, helter-skelter, running-after-kids, going-to-four-or-five-ballgames-a-week years!  (Whew! makes me tired, and happy, just to remember those years!)  That's not to say that we didn't enjoy each other then, of course, we certainly did!  ;-) but it has only gotten better because now it's true even on a HOT, dry, dirty, stinky parking lot when we can't even seem to sell a sparkler!  Even when we are utterly exhausted from working from early in the morning until after midnight we still have fun just being together!  BTW, after reading this to Hubby he said that he thought maybe I was on a different parking lot that he was!!  He makes me laugh. :-D

 We can find hilarity in the weirdest circumstances.  (Granted this might be from sleep deprivation and exhaustion but still we find it!)  We can be happy doing some truly ordinary (read: boring) things like reading to each other from our favorite books or sometimes just reading our own books and holding hands.  (If you are picturing two tottering little old people I will reach through cyberspace and smack you!)  We find things to laugh about even if those things are completely beyond the understanding of anyone besides the two of us.  We have actually spent our last four anniversaries on a parking lot and my husband manages romance (YES! romance!) anyway!

Don't forget!  No matter the stage of marriage you are in right now do this: Enjoy your husband!  Make it fun to be together no matter the circumstances.  Be silly, be goofy, be spontaneous, be deliberate.  Plan for it sometimes.  Take the initiative and plan a fun date for him.  Be careful not to discourage him when he does something just for the fun of it, especially if it includes you.  Laugh at him, or rather laugh at his jokes and funnies!  I know that sometimes you think you are too busy for his goofiness, don't be. Everyone enjoys making someone they love laugh so let him make you laugh and try to make him laugh.    

For the Lover of my souls and yours,

Laurie Jo  

Everything to Me - or not?

I met my darling husband when I was in the seventh grade.  He was a big eighth grader.  We became a couple when I was fourteen.  We got engaged when I was 18 and married when I was 20.  We grew up together.  He is my best friend, my soul-mate, my lover, and the father of my 5 sons.  We have been married for nearly 29 years.  But.... he does not fulfill my every need.  He can't.  God didn't give him that ability... on purpose.  If he had the ability to fulfill my every need it wouldn't be a good thing.  I absolutely adore this man as it is.  I don't need for him to be any more adorable!  No husband, no matter how wonderful, should be placed above the Lover of Our Souls, Jesus and I would be so tempted to put him up there.  

Truthfully though, I really do adore my husband but he doesn't fulfill all my needs.  You see, God made us with a need for fellowship.  And this means fellowship with more than one person.  This is one of the reasons why he created family and His bride, the church.  He knew we needed other people.  He allows us to fulfill this need in several different ways and one really beautiful way is with friends.  Thank you, Lord, for our friends.  

Girlfriends are God's gift to us.  Seek out some good Christian girlfriends.  It will be good for you and your marriage.  There are all kinds of benefits to sharing a life with girlfriends.  Girlfriends can  commiserate with us and give us fresh perspective.  Girlfriends can be an understanding ear and a shoulder to cry on.  Girlfriends can provide social relief for your husband!  Yep, that's what I said social relief.  Your husband shouldn't have to feign interest in your latest pin on pintrest or the most recent trend in shoes and bags.  And the good news about your man not being everything to you is that you in turn don't have to be everything to him!  You don't have to do all the things that he enjoys either.  If he enjoys fishing or deer hunting or golfing you can send him off to do these things with his guy friends and know that it's a good thing that you can't be each other's everything. 

So how do you cultivate these girlfriends?  Where do you find them?  Here a few ideas.

  

1. Become a member of a church and pray for a friend or friends!  The Lord commands us to participate in corporate worship but a nice benefit of this is that we find people that are there worshipping as well.  While you are there volunteer for service somewhere in the church, the nursery, the welcome center, the cleaning crew, the choir.  Do something you enjoy doing or stretch yourself.  You may meet someone that will be a lifelong friend!

2.  Volunteer in some other area of service.  Be a room mother at your child's school.  Become a den mother for a boy or girl scout troop.  Volunteer at a nursing home or an animal shelter.  Again this is another way to meet people that share similar values as you while you are doing the Lord's work of serving others.  

3.  Be hospitable.  Open your home to others.  Invite people for Sunday dinner after church or if preparing a whole meal for a group of more than four sends shivers down your spine just invite them for dessert on Friday night.  Invite another mom and her child(ren) over to play with your children.  Don't let this be intimidating.  Being hospitable is as easy as making someone else comfortable.  You can actually do this anywhere not just in your home.  It can be done at a playground or a McDonald's or a coffee shop or your back yard.  It really can be as simple as offering a glass of lemonade to a neighbor across the fence.  Just put yourself out there.  

Now a word of warning....  You will be rejected.  But that's okay.  If you are rejected, don't despair.  A person who rejects you is either not ready to be your friend right now or maybe they never will be ready, but The Lover of Your Soul has a friend or probably many friends out there for you.  Keep looking!    

  

For the Lover of my Soul and Yours who provides us with everything we need including a great friends!

Laurie Jo

In memory of my dearest friend and my other soul mate, Rita Diane, 1961-2010. Oh, how the Lover of My Soul used you to love my soul and used me to love yours!  Missing you everyday but looking forward to seeing your face right next to Jesus when I get to heaven!  Save a place for me!   

Expectations of Wedded Bliss

Hi, my name is Laurie Jo.  I'm so glad you found me!  I'm not exactly sure where this blog will lead but I have been feeling the Lord's leading in this for some time.  I am not a professional writer so please be patient with me.  I may ramble and be disjointed in my posts.  I am quite new to this blogging thing!

I hope that this blog serves to inspire you to love your husband and your family, to create a home that is a cheerful and peaceful place for all who enter, to open your home and your heart to others, and to be the woman God created you to be.   My inspiration for these things is Jesus.  Any sliver of creativity or originality that is seen on this blog comes from directly from Him, the creator and center of the universe and the lover of my soul.  

Now to the really important stuff....

Wedded Bliss!!!  (or something like that!) 

June, the month of weddings, satin and lace and pearls.  Pretty girls in beautiful gowns and handsome young men in tuxedos and ties.  Candlelight and music and flowers.  These are the things of a beautiful wedding but.... they are not the things of wedded bliss.  Now, don't misunderstand.  There's nothing wrong with these things, of course, but they are not how the rest of your wedded life will look.  A week or a month or 6 months after the wedding you are going to wake up and this thought will pop into your head "Holy Cow!  What have I gotten myself into?! I don't even like this lazy slob, selfish pig, stubborn jerk, (you fill in the blank), much less love him!"  That handsome groom of yours, the very same one who wooed you with sweet words and kind deeds, flowers and candy, and romantic dates, will have turned into this CREATURE!  This guy who leaves his dirty socks in the floor and never wipes a crumb off the kitchen counter and constantly watches sports on TV.   He never helps with the dishes, he hasn't told you he loves you in days (unless he wants.... something) and he wants to spend all day every Saturday with the guys hunting, fishing, golfing, etc!!!  Well, ladies, guess what?  Yes sirree!  That lazy slob, selfish pig, stubborn jerk, (you fill in the blank) is the very same guy and yes, you married him, made a vow in front of all your wedding guests and to your alien creature husband and more importantly to God to love him till death do you part.  So how do you manage to keep this vow and your sanity?

Examine your expectations of your marriage.  You had this idea that your marriage would be a wonderful experience that was all candlelight and roses.  OK, maybe your expectations weren't that unreasonable but my guess is they were still rather unreasonable.  If you're like most young marrieds money is probably a bit tight at times.  You probably are doing more housework than you did when you lived on your own or with your parents.  You may have taken on things that are new to you, things like paying bills and cooking. And while you knew that these things had to get done in every family you had the notion that there would be more teamwork involved.  Maybe you thought that there would be far more romance involved!  You know better intellectually but that happily-ever-after fairytale expectation still haunts you.    Here are a few ways to deal with your fairy tale expectations.

1.  Be realistic.  Life isn't a fairytale.  Marriage is often work, or at least, sacrifice.  No one could live up to the unrealistic expectations that many brides have of their husbands.  Let go of this fairytale.  God has a beautiful plan for your marriage.  He will use it to show you, your husband, your children, and those around you how beautiful the relationship between Christ and His church is.  He didn't write Cinderella but the story that He has for your wedded bliss is ever so much better!  

  

2.  Remember your first love.  Your husband IS the same guy you fell in love with.  He has the same qualities that he did when you were dating.  It maybe some of these same qualities  that you find so annoying now are the very ones that you found endearing while you were dating.  Don't expect him to change.  That's not really fair; after all you married him knowing most of these qualities.  Even the qualities that you may have 'discovered' after the wedding were usually hinted at before the wedding.  The truth of the matter is that the only person you have control over is you so.... you can change you or you can stay unhappy in your unrealistic expectations.  You can't make him pick up his socks or wipe the crumbs of the kitchen counter after he makes a sandwich but you can decide that these things are not worth making you or your husband miserable.  Don't misunderstand; I don't want you to just swallow all the things that bother you.  In any successful marriage there is a give and take.  You must talk to your husband and communicate the things that you need from him.  This conversation should be done calmly and with love and understanding.  And you should do this with the full expectation that he will have a few things that he may well have a few things that he wants you to do differently!      

3.  Be sure that you are the same loving, sweet, pretty girl that your husband fell in love with.  Make sure that you aren't always in sweatshirts and jeans.  Dress just for him sometimes, like you did when you were dating.  Fix your hair and do your make-up.  Men are visual creatures, and we all enjoy pretty things at times.  I'm not saying that you have to do your housework dressed like June Cleaver in pearls and heels all the time but neither should you slouch around everyday.   Do sweet, unexpected things for him to remind him how often you think of him during the day.  Leave a note for him on his steering wheel for him to find in the morning.  Leave him a favorite candy in his lunch box. Send him a message during the day telling him that you think he's handsome, wonderful, sexy, etc.  

Try these things to remind yourself that your 'creature' is really your handsome prince. Let your marriage be a example of Christ and His church to all who witness it.

For the lover of your soul and mine,

Laurie Jo